Silicon Valley is abuzz with the news that Peter Thiel and Elon Musk are buying the Whitehouse. It has leaked through private parties, where agents of the South African duo have been asking wealthy foreigners (Saudis, Indians, Russians) to buy into access; a pay-to-play scheme offering total control over the American executive branch of government.
Peter Thiel in particular says he bought Ohio’s state governance by stuffing their election with JD Vance, so he’ll use the same guy now to buy America’s federal governance.
This is the simple loophole that the South African duo believe enables them as wealthy foreign born immigrants to buy control over America from a traitorous and corrupt citizen.
Trump will serve as their disposable puppet, likely treated as the first monarch of the U.S., and be replaced whenever convenient to the whims of Thiel and Musk… or Putin. Of course Trump likely believes he can dispose of them before they dispose of him.
There is probably more to this story than is being told right now. The Tesla driver had a green light at 03:45 AM but ended up crashing, killing a teenager, before getting arrested.
First responders also treated the driver of the Tesla, 27-year-old Nicholas Williams of Herndon, Va., on the scene. Officers then arrested and charged him for Driving Under the Influence and No Permit.
Drunk in an intersection crash just before 4AM with no permit? Probably was asleep and drove full speed into the other car
Around 2.35pm, a Toyota Hilux and Tesla Model 3 were involved in a head-on collision while travelling in opposite directions on the Sunshine Motorway. A 48-year-old Palmview woman, the driver and sole occupant of the Tesla, died at the scene.
A head-on crash on Sunshine Motorway at Coolum Beach apparently refers to crossing the wide and well marked median of a divided highway.
“Rerum cognoscere causas” – to know the causes of things, taken from Book 2 of Virgil’s Georgics poetry. The full quotation is “Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas”.
Big news news from my alma mater. Sources say the award ceremony was delayed by three hours of LSE professors arguing about the best algorithm to determine the most efficient way to accept the trophy:
The Times and The Sunday Times Good University Guide has ranked LSE as the top university in the UK and named the School as its ‘University of the Year 2025’. This is the first time the Good University Guide has awarded LSE the prestigious ‘University of the Year’ title, and the first time we have been ranked number one in the country. […] This fantastic result follows other high rankings in university league tables over the last year. In September 2024, The Guardian placed LSE as the top university in London, and as the best place to study Accounting and Finance. Likewise, the Complete University Guide 2025 named the School as the number one university in the capital.
LSE students are reportedly “cautiously optimistic” about the news, as they’re still trying to calculate the long-term societal and economic impact of celebrating rankings. LSE’s Director, beaming with indignation, announced, “This recognition validates our long-standing belief that if you can’t measure it, it doesn’t matter. And if you can measure it… why? We look forward to quantifying this award in terms of social good. We’re thrilled, of course, but we need to consider the opportunity cost of joy.”
In a final stroke of genius, the LSE administration has decided to commemorate this achievement by commissioning a statue of a giant invisible hand.
Meanwhile, well-appointed representatives from Oxford and Cambridge were spotted in a corner, drowning their sorrows in spiked lukewarm tea. Overheard mutterings included phrases like “patronage failure” and “maybe unresolved bad legacy is bad,” suggesting a dawning realization that rowing prowess and ancient stone blocks carved to resemble elephantine profits from colonialism might not be the best metrics for educational excellence in the 21st century. An anonymous don was heard lamenting, “Perhaps we should have focused more on direct and honest economic models and less on which tie to wear for dinner.”
