This extract of a poem by Stephen Fry, in his new book The Ode Less Travelled, seems especially fitting for information security practitioners:
How rare it is when things go right
When days go by without a slip
And don’t go wrong, as well they might.The smallest triumphs cause delight –
The kitchen’s clean, the taps don’t drip,
How rare it is when things go right.Your ice cream freezes overnight,
Your jellies set, your pancakes flip
And don’t go wrong, as well they might …
Threshed corn lay piled like grit of ivory
Or solid as cement in two-lugged sacks.
The musty dark hoarded an armoury
Of farmyard implements, harness, plough-socks.The floor was mouse-grey, smooth, chilly concrete.
There were no windows, just two narrow shafts
Of gilded motes, crossing, from air-holes slit
High in each gable. The one door meant no draughtsAll summer when the zinc burned like an oven.
A scythe’s edge, a clean spade, a pitch-fork’s prongs:
Slowly bright objects formed when you went in.
Then you felt cobwebs clogging up your lungsAnd scuttled fast into the sunlit yard –
And into nights when bats were on the wing
Over the rafters of sleep, where bright eyes stared
From piles of grain in corners, fierce, unblinking.The dark gulfed like a roof-space. I was chaff
To be pecked up when birds shot through the air-slits.
I lay face-down to shun the fear above.
The two-lugged sacks moved in like great blind rats.
Sonnets. I’m not a huge fan in general, but this one has grown on me. Naturally Sonnet Central has a plethora…
Someone mentioned new software licensing regulations that are tied to the “Secure America’s Homes and Businesses Act of 2005 (HR 3632)”. So I went online to read the text of the act and discovered that homeowners are elligible for $5,000, and businesses for $50,000, when they install surveillance systems.
Check out the exact text on THOMAS:
(a) Allowance of Deduction- In the case of a taxpayer who elects the application of this section, there shall be allowed as a deduction for the taxable year an amount equal to the cost of any expenses relating to the purchase and professional installation of a qualifying electronic premise security system in a residential or commercial premise owned or occupied by the taxpayer during such taxable year.
`(b) Maximum Deduction- The deduction allowed by subsection (a) for the taxable year shall not exceed–
`(1) in the case of a qualifying electronic premise security system installed in a residential premise, $5,000, and
`(2) in the case of a qualifying electronic premise security system installed in a commercial premise, $50,000.
`(c) Definitions- For purposes of this section–
`(1) QUALIFYING ELECTRONIC PREMISE SECURITY SYSTEM- The term `qualifying electronic premise security system’ means any of the following:
`(A) Electronic fire or life safety devices, intrusion detection alarms, and any other burglar alarms or devices.
`(B) Video surveillance or other security cameras and equipment.
`(C) Access controls, including biometric controls, automated fingerprint identification systems, and other electronic access control devices.
`(D) Components, wiring, system displays, terminals, auxiliary power supplies, and other equipment necessary or incidental to the installation and operation of any item described in subparagraph (A), (B), or (C).
Nice that they specifically call out the fingerprint identification systems. Any old fire or life safety device will do, but you’d better consider fingerprints if you’re thinking about access controls. Come to think of it, it is about time I installed that solar-cell array and battery backup sytem with a diesel generator for my house. After all, what good is any kind of physical security system if it can be switched off or if the main power goes out? $5,000 worth of security per home sounds about right, no?
And what do you think constitutes a legal residential premise?
`residential premise’ means any house, condominium, cooperative unit, boat, or trailer used as a dwelling by the taxpayer
Sorry, you can’t live out of your urban assault vehicle and still get the tax break for security. And that takes me back to my earlier point on a strange loophole in the laws that I see people trying to worm their way into. If someone works/lives in a large vehicle on private property it appears that laws covering a residence do not apply, nor do the rules set forth by the department of transportation.
Now, where is that new law about software licenses?
When I went to the Family Museum I half expected to see a history of the family, or perhaps even some discussion of what a family means to different groups of people. Instead I found rooms full of toys and other technology.
The museum seems to be something akin to a high-tech exhibit for manufacturers to represent their products to future generations and inspire consumerism, or competition — CES for toddlers. The kevlar showcase is one good example. Perhaps I should have taken their motto more to heart than their name: “Play and learn together”.
Back to the family, is it defined as a group that plays and learns together? Surely not. Page 15 of the museum guide sets this issue to rest:
$85 entitles two adults and their children under age 18 who reside in the same household to all basic member benefits.
Aha! I’m amused by the need to specify “reside in same household”. For how long? Does a weekend count as residing? A week? Month? I admire the fact that they do not specifiy “man and woman” although I also noted that two adults does not mean one parent and a baby-sitter.
Your babysitter may be added to your membership for a fee of $10
Pets are $2 per leg. Just kidding.
Brothers and sisters of the parents? Not allowed as family.
Grandparents? Considered family, but they need to get their own special pass.
$50 entitles two adults residing in the same household and all grandchildren under the age of 18 to all basic member benefits.
Ok, so enough of the identity information. How does one go about verifying the difference between family and a grandparent? Let’s say my father comes to visit and I give him my family membership card to take my daughter to the museum. Are they going to toss them out for not being a family, or charge my father a $50 membership fee or a $10 babysitter membership fee? How will they know my father is not me, especially if we have the same name? And let’s say that my brother wants to take my son to the museum, so he borrows my father’s membership card. Are they going to toss them out for not being a family, or charge him a $10 babysitter membership fee? What happens if you change babysitters frequently? Is it $10 per, or can you get a generic babysitter pass? Here’s a good one, try applying for a card with just a first initial and last name.
The truth is that the person checking the cards is empowered to make an executive decision and if they decide to stamp your hand with a little blue-ink symbol, you’ve been recognized as some relation to a family, regardless of what the revenue guidelines state.
Alas, once I had left an arm and a leg with the guards, I wandered around trying to look like someone with a family. Eventually I found some poetry, tucked away among the toys and technology, which made me pause to think:
Very subtle. Money blowing in the wind. Consumers bowing down. I get it…
Overall, the museum seems like a good idea that is popular among children and their parents. I mean who doesn’t like grabbing and feeling bits of technology that tens of thousands of other children and parents have been grabbing and feeling? And howabout that kevlar? And the ethanol/biodiesel placard was interesting, although it was more geared towards touting the benefits of growing corn than any reference to the security implications of domestic energy and efficiency (alas, they also seemed to be lacking any insulation in the building and the lamps were all high-burn halogens). Schools apparently are not the best place for families to play and learn together, and so it makes sense that private enterprise would spring up to fill in the gaps. They even have classes and learning groups and they share space with the public library. But is it really necessary to break down the family into billable units?