A poem of kinship

Author Unknown

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grownup daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father’s wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grownup daughter
Who, of course, was my stepmother.

Father’s wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter’s son.

My wife is now my mother’s mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She’s my grandmother, too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

Try to fit that on an identity card…

Armrests, availability, and shifting risks

I remember a time when park benches in London were exactly that, benches. What I mean is that a controversy once brewed in GB over people sleeping on public benches and I read in the papers (long ago) that armrests were to be installed to end the issue. I do not know if this reaction is the source of all armrests on long bench-like seating areas, but armrests certainly do seem to be more common now (airports, movie-theaters) than in older seating areas (e.g. Cathedral pews). Are people more worried today about personal space than in the past?

From where I sit, armrests are an interesting type of behavior regulation. I wonder if it self-imposed (we need some way to divide spaces evenly for us, especially as weight/size averages grow, and/or want someone to keep us from lying down) or whether it is a result of some kind of offensive use or abuse that we wish to be stopped (homeless taking up residence on the benches and claiming it as permanently theirs). Movable armrests would be a good idea to solve the former problem. I suppose the reason movable armrests are not more common, however, is because the cost justification for the armrests has more to do with the latter problem. Wonder if anyone has researched the history of armrests…

From an opposite perspective, since public benches have off-peak access during the night, perhaps they should be intentionally designed and maintained to be a form of homeless accomodation. Otherwise, as this report points out, the armrests might just end up forcing the homeless to sleep somewhere even less palatable to the regulators:

“Sure it says (the city) is unfriendly to homeless,” said Andy Baines, a formerly homeless 36-year-old who is working hard at the Winston-Salem Rescue Mission to get his life right. “But you know what? There’s always somewhere else to go. We’ll find another place. It might be a couch, an abandoned building or an abandoned car.

The term “abandoned” gives a hint to the nature of the problem. The armrests raise the stakes of what is to be considered abandoned enough to be suitable for a nap. In airports, apparently the base of the seats with armrests has become the preferred spot. So instead of napping on the bench, people put their bags on the seats and sleep just below them, which seems like an unnecessary and unfortunate consequence of behavior regulation.

Fake priests

The BBC suggests Japan has a “new” problem:

“Being a fake priest is big business in Japan – I’ve done a TV commercial for one company,” [Mark Kelly] added. “In Sapporo, there are five agencies employing about 20 fake priests. In a city like Tokyo, there must be hundreds.”

The fake Western priests are employed at Western-style weddings to give a performance and add to the atmosphere. These are not legal ceremonies – the couples also have to make a trip to the local registrar.

“In the past almost all weddings in Japan were Shinto, but in the last few years Western-style weddings have appeared and become very popular,” said one Japanese priest.

It is important for the bride and groom to have a proper wedding, and they are not getting it from these foreign priests. “People like the dress, the kiss and the image. Japanese Christians make up only 1% of the country, but now about 90% of weddings are in the Christian style.”

Without trying to be too controversial about this, who really gets to decide whether someone is a real priest, and what constitutes a real/proper wedding? The infrastructure and regulations seem to always be under some kind of challenge as denominations fracture and feud. As a famous anthropologist once said, “marriage is as relative as time has zones”. After all, how different is this than the infamous Vegas weddings and (Elvis) priests?

Why poetry is better than sex

According to an interview with poet Michael Longley, “writing poetry gives him a better buzz than sex or booze”:

If you have nothing to say don’t force it. The trouble is, you do acquire a lot of skills over the years. It is possible without knowing it to produce forgeries. It is important not to do that. It is better to remain silent rather than fool yourself and others for a while by producing forgeries.

One of the problems is repeating yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean with regards to subject matter. It is more doing the same trick, as it were, producing the same performance.

Is he talking about poetry or sex? Can’t tell. It seems he prefers the cerebral rush to the carnal, although he does admit to finding shortcuts, thanks to technology that allows him to repeat someone else’s performance:

I get as much pleasure out of music as poetry but I can’t do anything musical except put in the CD!

He certainly has a way with words.