So Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter is suddenly worth $44 billion again despite rebranding it as a Swastika?
Let’s call this what it is: financial theater of the elites who bear no responsibility for detachment from reality.
This miraculous “rebound” to exactly the purchase price Musk originally paid comes courtesy of a secondary deal where—wait for it—existing investors traded shares among themselves.
That’s right, the same insiders who already have skin in the game simply decided among themselves that their platform is now worth 4.4 times more than Fidelity valued it just months ago. Magic, snake oil stuff.
It’s like watching someone slap a “NEW” sticker on a used burned up Tesla. Revenue collapsed since acquisition? No problem! Just have your friends trade paperwork at inflated prices right before you try to pretend it’s all definitely like brand new, to raise $2 billion in fresh capital.
The timing—coinciding with Musk’s alliance with President Trump—adds another layer to this suspicious valuation kabuki. This isn’t a “dramatic reversal of fortunes” as the press would have you believe; it’s a transparent attempt to create the illusion of restored value as a propaganda move.
Tesla is nearly worthless now?
Tesla loses $127 billion in one-day…
The CEO simultaneously experiences plummeting sales and stock value while oddly raising new debt despite having $37 billion in cash reserves.
Yoo hoo, look away, over here at this piece of paper with some crayon that says $44 billion on it. Ta-da. Twitter magic. My friends made it for me.
When someone tries to sell you a clearly used and defective dumpster fire product as brand new, it tells you everything you need to know about their relationship with reality.
Similarly, when insiders magically restore a company’s valuation without corresponding fundamental improvements, potential investors should recognize they’re being set up as the punchline to a cruel theft that isn’t funny.
Smart money sees the fake numbers and propaganda for what it is: a mirage designed to distract from Tesla by attracting fresh capital at favorable terms. Those who buy in at this insider-manufactured balloon price might want to check if their investment comes with a whites-only 2022 colony on Mars thrown in for free. Oh so valuable, 2018 was an amazing year for SpaceX investors landing on… nowhere.
