The humor never stops at the Onion. Now owned by Chinese, America’s Finest News Source has posted a series of Hot New Consumer Products, such as the Loyalty Bracelet.

Yu Wan Mei Loyalty Bracelet: Show your loyalty to Yu Wan Mei and its line of products in a high-fashion way! The bracelet looks so nice for men or women—even the GPS chip inside is designed with an eye for style. Do not remove the Loyalty Bracelet.

Do not remove the GPS loyalty chip. Ha ha clever, but I am curious if they could have named it the LiveWong bracelet?