Thankfully the British Roman Catholic Church has tried to help clarify the holiday on February 14th. Apparently they have said that prayers for love should be directed to St Raphael instead of St Valentine.

Although St Valentine sent a nice note to his jailer’s daughter that said “From your Valentine” (not to mention he cured her sight) St Raphael helped Sarah survive a wedding to Tobias. Tobias’ previous seven brides died on their wedding night.

St Raphael thus saved women from death by marriage. Could anything possibly represent love more? On the other hand, if you still wish to pray to St Valentine on this day, perhaps eye surgery is a good fit, or even the mail.

Given the Church’s advice, I could not help but reference a Litany of St Raphael. Contrary to their suggestion, however, I found no mention of love. The only time the word seems to be mentioned is “lover of chastity”. Hmm, back to marriage again. Is there more to the Church’s advice than meets the eye regarding who to pray towards on February 14th?

Alternatively, we could just agree that Valentine’s day is not really about love, but rather celebrating criminal activity for which you may or not be canonized.