What’s the name of that guy in Dr. Strangelove with the obsession about rainwater? General Jack D. Ripper?

A station in St. Louis, KWMU, has alerted America to a water quality and anti-bottle campaign called “Think Outside the Bottle”. No, this is not just a marketing campaign for babies:

“It’s really a great idea on a few fronts: one, it’s saving taxpayer dollars; two, we have the best-tasting water in the country, and we’re encouraging our city employees, city citizens and citizens from around the region and visitors to use our tap water,” [St. Louis mayor’s environmental aide] Embree said.

During the 2007 U.S. Conference of Mayors St. Louis’ tap water was voted the best tasting.

They forgot to mention the war on terror. What modern politician could forget the war on terror as a reason to take action? Save the environment? Save taxpayer dollars? Do it for the taste or your health? What kind of Communists, oops I mean terrorists, are we dealing with here? Ol’ Ripper said it like this:

A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

Today it would be terrorists. Those terrorist bottle companies leeching foreign substances…someone needs to launch an air-strike and protect America from “the most monstrously conceived and dangerous [terrorist] plot we have ever had to face”.

Wait, isn’t there already a Homeland Security alert on bottles?