Oh, ok, not really. But close…

He actually says the “digital population growth” is the problem.

Microsoft General Counsel Brad Smith used the rapid urban population growth in the 19th century to illustrate how COFEE is supposed to work. As more packed cities led to an increase in urban crime, digital population growth today creates the same nooks and crannies for the seedier elements of a society. Microsoft’s goal in partnering with various law enforcement agencies is to give police officers more effective tools for peering into such dark spaces; hopefully preventing predatorial attacks before they begin.

Not sure about you, but a more appropriate analogy for COFEE might be a safe manufacturer selling backdoor keys to “partners”.

Seriously, though, this is a sales/marketing strategy to provide a sense of security? It’s like Microsoft might actually believe the broken-window theory of economics works, rather than being a fallacy. I mean who qualifies as a partner?

Here’s a real gem from the Microsoft marketing team:

One area we are clearly having successes in is our work to identify and anticipate new trends in cybercrimes.

Really? Would those trends have anything to do with operating systems that are released to the public full of security bugs and weak configurations?

At least they came up with a cute acronym. Everybody loves coffee.