The best part of the BBC take on the new British Citizen test is the part about culture as it relates to safety. It starts slowly with a simple question:

Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone’s pint in the pub (we’re not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?

A: You would offer to buy the person another pint

B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own

C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park

While the correct answer would seem to be A, the article then takes an amusing turn:

You’ve unfortunately had that fight and are bleeding from a well-placed left hook. Which two telephone numbers can you call for an ambulance?

A: 999 or 112

B: 999 or 111

C: 999 or any other digit three times

Just when you think the humor has ended, several questions later you are suddenly back to issues of safety and security:

Back to that pub. The police turn up with the ambulance and an officer asks you to attend an interview at the station. What are your rights?

A: You don’t have to go if you are not arrested, but if you do go voluntarily you are free to leave at any time

B: You must go. Failure to attend an interview is an arrestable offence

C: You must go if you are a foreign national

Back to that pub…wait, what was this test for?