This story can’t be real. It sounds like, at least for Mr. Wiener, the issue with being naked is about safety…

Public nudity, he explains, is legal in San Francisco and in recent years a group known informally as Naked Guys have shown unbridled enthusiasm for appearing in the nude.

“I see it pretty regularly, and unfortunately there are nudists who are not doing what they should,” Wiener told Reuters.

The nudists, who expose themselves most often in the city’s famous gay neighborhood, the Castro District, have got Wiener and others worrying about public health.

“I’m not a health expert, but I believe sitting nude in a public place is not sanitary,” he said. “Would you want to sit on a seat where someone had been sitting naked? I think most people would say, ‘No.'”

Wiener, who represents the Castro neighborhood, said he hears from merchants who fear the public displays may drive away customers, hurting the business’ bottom lines.

The argument that public displays in the Castro will drive away customers is like saying Disney should get rid of Mickey because some people are afraid of mice. Wiener must realize at least a little that “displays” are why the “famous gay neighborhood” has so many customers.

So let’s look instead at his argument on safety. Business is booming in other neighborhoods where safety is a very serious problem. I’m talking about three homicides in the Mission in just one week, including a cook. The last one was a block from the police station. And if Weiner is really worried just about seat cleanliness then maybe he should instead focus his worry on BART upholstery since it clearly brings many more dirty bottoms into the Castro:

Fecal and skin-borne bacteria resistant to antibiotics were found in a seat on a train headed from Daly City to Dublin/Pleasanton. Further testing on the skin-borne bacteria showed characteristics of methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, the drug-resistant bacterium that causes potentially lethal infections, although Franklin cautioned that the MRSA findings were preliminary.

High concentrations of at least nine bacteria strains and several types of mold were found on the seat. Even after Franklin cleaned the cushion with an alcohol wipe, potentially harmful bacteria were found growing in the fabric.

If only they could get rid of that disgusting fabric…