Category Archives: Food

Security Sauce and Airports

The premier authority on intrusion detection theory Martin Roesch has posted some excellent insights, as well as humorous anecdotes, on his newly minted blog:

If the set of things that need to be detected (signatures) is constrained to guns, knives and bomb materials, I’d say grudgingly that a motivated screener could maintain alertness through their entire period manning the machine to have a reasonable probability of detection of the things in the set of threats. Once you extend that signature set to, well, pretty much everything that’s not paper or cloth you’re going to have an analysts nightmare because you just did the equivalent of “alert ip any any -> any any (msg: “Something bad may have happened!!”;)” in Snort.

True, but that is probably not an acurate depiction of current events. There is a period of re-tuning the sensor, rather than de-tuning, and in this case the current detection technology is unable to detect the threat regardless of the rules you give it. In other words you can tell it “find liquids” but the scanner isn’t capable (since they are x-ray instead of ultrasound), so you have little choice but to take extra precautions and re-tune until you get something that can process the new rules and speed up again.

As an aside, “security sauce” and “meatspace”, found in Roesch’s blog, keep making me think of spaghetti. I wonder if he’s a Pastafarian, or maybe I am just hungry. Here’s my suggestion for an official Security Sauce site poem:

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.

Security Sauce: Hold on to your meatspace.

Maybe if I have time I’ll try to do a full parody.

Nazi restaurant opens in Mumbai

The BBC reports that a man in Mumbai will keep the name of his restaurant “Hitler’s Cross” despite protests from the local Jewish community.

“My customers are not complaining about the name, they are very amused by it,” he said. “Just like Hitler wanted to conquer the world, I want to conquer at least my area through the food served in my restaurant.”

Great. Now you know where to find all the Nazi sympathizers, conveniently collected into a restaurant in India. Clearly this man thinks a genocidal maniac is someone to idolize. Or does he…

Mr Sabhlok also said he was not promoting Hitler in any manner as he did not have any pictures of the German Nazi leader or decor related to him.

When questioned about press photographs of a huge Hitler poster at the front door, Mr Sabhlok said it was put up by one of the 700 invitees who attended the opening. “We pulled it off later,” he said.

I can just imagine him saying “Oh, you mean that picture? That’s someone else’s.” Of course it is, because restaurant guests always bring a giant picture of Hitler with them to dinner and post it on the front door.

So he’s saying he wants to be just like Hitler, but not like Hitler in any way. Hmmm, that sort of double-speak sounds strangely similar to something Hitler would have said. So the big question is whether the officials will have the sense to shut this place down before it becomes a serious saftey issue (please note I have avoided any tasteless “to die for” jokes), and whether/how restaurant laws will be forced change in India as a result.

Edited to add (8/29/2006): Looks like the BBC report may have been a few days stale. NewKerala.com reported that the protests began August 18th when the restaurant opened and by the 24th the restaurant announced it would give up the name:

“We, the owners and operators of the restaurant opened at Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, acknowledge that the name adopted by us for our restaurant was most inappropriate.

“We have decided to change the name of our restaurant and remove all signs and articles associated with Hitler and Nazism in and around the restaurant,” the statement said.

It will now be called The Pol Pot. No, not really. But you never know.

US food and export controls

It looks like India is still not too happy with the safety controls used by Coke and Pepsi for their products:

Researchers at the Center for Science and Environment, an independent group, say they have conducted various studies that clearly show pesticide residues in Coca Cola and Pepsi products in India were 24 times higher than European Union standards.

Both companies have categorically denied this charge, amid assertions that their products are safe and pose no risk to human health.

However, they have mostly failed to convince local health officials in many parts of the country. The cola companies have been ordered by the Indian Supreme Court to reveal the contents of their products within the next six months.

Hard not to tie that story together with the latest row over tainted rice exports to Europe as explained here and here:

Late last week, the European Commission was notified by Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns of trace amounts of unauthorized genetically modified (GMO) rice detected in long grain samples that were targeted for commercial use. It was the first time that unmarketed genetically engineered rice had been found in rice used in the U.S. commercial market. Although U.S. authorities have assured Brussels that there is no environmental or human health risk, either from food or animal feed, Commission experts are urgently seeking more information — with a possible view to import restrictions.

If these things are being caught during export, and by foreign agencies with strict health standards, certainly makes you wonder about domestic controls (and the public’s want of full disclosure)…my guess is that even if the EU demands change, other big importers of US long-grain rice like Iraq will not object.

The rebirth of cider

America was famous for its wide selection of fine cider until it was criminalized. Cider? Yes, today it might seem odd, but before companies like Budweiser (not the real Czech one, the American imitation brand) rose to dominance of the alchohol industry, many people had a do-it-yourself attitude to the spirits. The SFGate reported in 2003:

American settlers in the Northwest Territories and Ohio River Valley welcomed the eccentric Appleseed, whose real name was John Chapman, because his sour apples yielded cider.

“Just about the only reason to plant an orchard of the sort of seedling apples John Chapman had for sale would have been its intoxicating harvest of drink, available to anyone with a press and a barrel,” writes Michael Pollan in “The Botany of Desire: A Plant’s-Eye View of the World.” “Johnny Appleseed was bringing the gift of alcohol to the frontier.”

[…]

Until Prohibition, apples were more likely to be made into cider than eaten. Pollan reasons that the infamous Carry Nation wielded her ax not just to bust down saloon doors but to chop down apple trees as well. After Prohibition, beer, wine and liquor supplanted cider.

Now US has been so cider-free that most Americans do not even realize that it can or should be alcoholic. Each fall, gallons of apple juice are set out in ironic moonshine-looking jugs for children and parents alike to revel in the bounty of fall and a mislabel of cider. I suppose baloney slices are real meat to many people too, but I digress.

Alas, some folks have conjured up the ghost of harvests past and are starting to advocate for small-batch brews of real cider.

The term “hard cider” is only used in America. Elsewhere it’s just called cider, and nonalcoholic apple juice is called, well, apple juice. The confusing nomenclature originates in part from Prohibition, when apple juice replaced the alcoholic stuff but was still called cider. Once Prohibition was repealed, fermented cider took a back seat to other alcoholic beverages yet the Prohibition term for apple juice stuck, leading alcoholic cider makers to call their products hard or fermented cider.

Cider is made a lot like wine but the process is quicker. Apples are pressed for their juice, which is then inoculated with yeast. The juice ferments in stainless steel tanks for about two weeks and then it’s ready for bottles or kegs. Unlike wine, apple cold storage allows for a steady supply of fruit so cider can be made year-round.

Why do I bring this up? A couple reasons:

First, I have fond memories of drinking locally-made cider varieties down in South West England once upon a time (not tyne, as that’s up north country). I’ll never forget the dark wood benches of the dimly-lit country pub where I was cornered and told not to drink more than a pint of the best stuff: “You take a layer of hay, a row of apples, a layer of hay, a row of apples, and then throw in an old leg of lamb. Let her sit until just ripe and then turn the screw, lad. If you’re lucky you might get rat or two for flavor! See those chunks in your glass? That’s good Scrumpy!”

I’m getting hungry for a ploughman’s just thinking about it.

Second, I just noticed that the BBC has reported on recent growth in cider brewing, including some smaller names:

Making 454,000 litres of cider a year, Sheppy’s Cider is a mere drop in the ocean of the UK’s total 500 million litre annual cider sales. Yet its range of ciders is in big demand, with Sheppy’s Cider now being sold nationally at Waitrose supermarkets, and in the south west at Sainsbury’s and Asda, in addition to mail and internet order and from its own farm shop.

Not surprising that the method of quality comes down to a very simple test:

The cider-making is led by David Sheppy, who does all the blending simply using his taste buds.

Very occasionally he will add some sugar just to aid a secondary fermentation, or some water if the cider is particularly strong one year.

Ah, like a fine bourbon or scotch but right from the neighborhood orchard.

Now where did I put those apple seeds…?