Category Archives: Poetry

German Driver Has License Revoked for Using Tesla FSD

Germans rightfully expect vehicle drivers to be intelligent.

As their old saying goes…

Der Mensch denkt,
der Chauffeur lenkt

A man thinks, a driver steers.

Tesla has flagrantly violated this German saying on both ends by telling customers they don’t have to think when they sit in a “driverless” box that can’t steer.

The CEO of Tesla literally told everyone they should plan to fall asleep while driving his cars. The result predictably has been “luxurious ignorance” leading to a huge increase of crashes and deaths.

Unfortunately, the overtly fraudulent Tesla still seems to sell cars. And it’s buyers, especially Americans, sometimes believe any crazy thing they hear instead of checking the NHTSA records.

The latest news is a Tesla driven by a man in Germany under some unspecified influence (social media, drugs, alcohol, etc.) had to be removed from the Autobahn.

Police have described how the Tesla driver ignored a safety check, then completely ignored their chase from in front of him.

Der Fahrer war gegen 12 Uhr auf der A70 von Bamberg in Fahrtrichtung Bayreuth unterwegs, als die Polizeistreife ihn einer Verkehrskontrolle unterziehen wollte.

Teslas have a very sad reputation for ignoring safety lights and signs but this case is a new low.

In fact one of the first Tesla “autopilot” fatalities was in 2016 from driving straight into flashing safety lights and signs… a problem that only had gotten worse for a decade already.

The NHTSA is currently investigating at least 40 crashes involving faulty Tesla software.

Checkpoints to remove Tesla from roads seem like a great idea, until you factor they’d have to be staged as moving interceptions over many miles since Teslas are too blind and dumb to stop on any normal notice.

Apparently the driver confidently entered his vehicle unfit to drive (typical for Tesla owners), set cruise control then went to sleep.

While we can blame him for being the kind of person who would buy a Tesla in order to do the wrong thing, it also sounds like he was doing exactly the sort things the CEO has repeatedly encouraged.

Police sirens and lights failed to wake this man or disable his machine for fifteen minutes. They tracked the vehicle from in front observing a blindingly obvious inability to think.

When the driver finally was alert and forced to avoid disaster, he was charged with thoughtless endangerment. The police also noted Tesla’s safety feature to prevent drivers being “inattentive” had been trivially bypassed; yet another design flaw.

His driver’s license then was revoked. But when you really think about the design flaws and CEO messaging… all Teslas should have had their license revoked.

This incident follows German regulators warning since 2019 that Tesla’s abuse of the term “autopilot” is misleading to the point of being negligent fraud (the safety troll phrase “full self driving”, of course, is even worse).

More recently, German regulatory investigations this year reported unsafe “abnormalities” in Tesla software, highlighting unethical engineering practices.

Tesla manche Funktionen nur freischalte, wenn der Fahrer eine bestimmte Punktzahl in Abhängigkeit von seinem Fahrkönnen erreicht. Ein Fahrzeug müsse so sicher sein, dass es von allen Fahrern bedient werden kann, hieß es beim KBA.

Cars are meant to be safe for anyone to drive, yet Tesla introduced “political” points systems in their cars to deliberately curate a false sense of privileged access to safety.

They may as well have been charging $15K for Elon Musk bobble head dolls while telling owners it makes their car invincible.

Neither the points systems nor the high cost have any correlation to achieving basic safety. Tragically, this means “safety warnings” given to Tesla drivers makes them LESS safe because they falsely believe the CEO and think they don’t need the warnings.

I warned about this here way back in 2006, if you will, the year Tesla was founded by copying the tzero EV design:

…countermeasures sometimes may increase danger, rather than diminish it [because] in the rare event it is [needed], the warning will no longer be received and there may be a victim. […] A warning that is not perceived as needed will not be heeded–even when it is needed.

The news therefore continues to be about Tesla owners falsely believing the CEO he is personally elevating them into privilege (again, the “luxurious ignorance” often associated with fans of dictators), when in fact they are a threat to themselves and everyone around them.

Tesla engineering has in this regard always been quite predictably and uniquely toxic to road safety.

Source: tesladeaths.com

This brings me back to 2016 when I very publicly (BSidesLV keynote) explained how Josh Brown would not have been killed by Tesla if he hadn’t been misled by the CEO’s bogus “crash avoidance” propaganda.

Taking away one license isn’t going to solve this problem until that license is the one that gets all Tesla off the roads.

Nachtgedanken

by Heinrich Heine

Denk ich an Deutschland in der Nacht,
Dann bin ich um den Schlaf gebracht,
Ich kann nicht mehr die Augen schließen,
Und meine heißen Thränen fließen.
 
Die Jahre kommen und vergehn!
Seit ich die Mutter nicht gesehn,
Zwölf Jahre sind schon hingegangen;
Es wächst mein Sehnen und Verlangen.
 
Mein Sehnen und Verlangen wächst.
Die alte Frau hat mich behext,
Ich denke immer an die alte,
Die alte Frau, die Gott erhalte!
 
Die alte Frau hat mich so lieb,
Und in den Briefen, die sie schrieb,
Seh’ ich wie ihre Hand gezittert,
Wie tief das Mutterherz erschüttert.
 
Die Mutter liegt mir stets im Sinn.
Zwölf lange Jahre floßen hin,
Zwölf lange Jahre sind verflossen,
Seit ich sie nicht an’s Herz geschlossen.
 
Deutschland hat ewigen Bestand,
Es ist ein kerngesundes Land,
Mit seinen Eichen, seinen Linden,
Werd’ ich es immer wiederfinden.
 
Nach Deutschland lechzt’ ich nicht so sehr,
Wenn nicht die Mutter dorten wär’;
Das Vaterland wird nie verderben,
Jedoch die alte Frau kann sterben.
 
Seit ich das Land verlassen hab’,
So viele sanken dort in’s Grab,
Die ich geliebt – wenn ich sie zähle,
So will verbluten meine Seele.
 
Und zählen muß ich – Mit der Zahl
Schwillt immer höher meine Qual,
Mir ist als wälzten sich die Leichen
Auf meine Brust – Gottlob! sie weichen!
 
Gottlob! durch meine Fenster bricht
Französisch heit’res Tageslicht;
Es kommt mein Weib, schön wie der Morgen,
Und lächelt fort die deutschen Sorgen.

Translation:

When at night I think of Germany
About to drift into rest
My eyes won’t close asleep
They flow hot tears as I weep
 

German EV Sales Dominated by DS, MG and Audi

Since I wrote a post a few weeks back — looking at the huge Fiat EV sales numbers in Germany — I’ve been curious about the Stellantis rise (Fiat is a Stellantis brand).

It seems odd that Tesla is soaking up headlines in Germany while failing to deliver, shooting itself in the foot and above all lacking innovation for the tenth year in a row. Nobody meanwhile is writing about the Stellantis revolution delivering amazing results.

The Stellantis boss plans to launch 75 new fully electric models by 2030. The group’s annual sales should double by then to around 300 billion euros – with a double-digit return on sales.

Seventy five EV models within a decade. Wow.

Another one of Stellantis’ brands dominated last month’s EV sales in Germany, for example. This time it’s the French “DS” that takes honors.

Germany’s Kraftfahrt-Bundesamt (KBA — motor transport authority) published new figures that show DS registrations in November were up 301%, followed by MG with registrations up 124%, and then Audi up 109%.

That is a huge jump.

I’ll be honest, I know very little about this DS brand even after reading the October press releases.

Looking at the “luxury” marketing I don’t immediately see the DS appeal versus a Polestar, for example.

“Only you, a wealth of attentions”?

Wat.

Why is that all-black faceless woman staring into oblivion while the “only you” is a white man in white? Is that an apparition, like he’s meant to be seaside for mourning the death of his mistress?

It must sound and look better in French, or French translated into German.

My guess is this new DS EV is an amazing feat of engineering that sells itself because the marketing is… let’s just say “schnauzer”.

Since nobody seems to be writing about the DS having huge appeal in Germany, it’s even more curious how they’re crushing very recognizable and highly curated brands like VW and Audi.

It kind of reminds me how Tesla somehow manages to splash itself into Norwegian news, while the modest Nissan LEAF like Stellantis has quietly dominated that country’s all time EV sales.

The story of Nissan’s LEAF, the world’s first mass-market EV launched a decade ago, is woven into Norway. In 2018, for example, it was the country’s most-sold passenger car. A 2020 survey of 14,000 EV drivers in Norway – thousands of them Nissan LEAF owners – showed that nearly 95% are satisfied with their cars and 66% are encouraging their friends to follow their lead. Maria is definitely one of those drivers. “For those who have not yet switched, try this car. You won’t regret it,” she says. “As soon as you drive it, you’ll see how wonderful it is to drive a Nissan LEAF.”

Seriously, there’s great EV stuff going on if you look at the real numbers instead of cooked ones from the Tesla propaganda pulpit. Let’s see some more talk about super cool Nissan innovation for Norway’s snowy roads, engineering that fundamentally changes an EV that Norwegians buy the most.

e-4ORCE offers a powerful and controlled drive with a lightning-fast response and smooth acceleration with ultra-high-precision control at 1/10000th of a second. It guarantees driver and passenger comfort and steadiness while delivering thrill and velocity matched with a sports car.

Nissan innovation is impressive, especially now that their CEO is not crazy.