Category Archives: History

More Proof Microsoft is Run by Monkeys

No, I am not talking about the video of Steve Ballmer doing the monkey dance — showing his dislike of creationism.

And I also am not talking about the theory that Shakespeare’s work could be replicated if you put enough monkeys on keyboards.

I am talking about the simple fact that if you are asked to secure a network environment, you will inevitably end up facing a Microsoft system setup to be a primary source of authentication, yet at great risk from attackers. You want to help, but every security expert knows Microsoft is a mess to work around.

It’s like being asked by a king to secure a castle after his keep was built with open doors at the top of stairs that terminate all over the place, often outside the perimeter walls. Imagine having to say “This design allows the village idiot to walk right into your bedroom and sleep with the queen. You didn’t know you were paying for that?”

Companies have to pay a hefty fee to make it safe after the fact, and in some cases the only way to make it safe it to tear it out and replace it. Can you believe Windows 98 was even allowed to be put on the market?

“Cheep, cheep” comes to mind.

Could monkeys stand in for Shakespeare? Interesting question, but perhaps more interesting is why people think it is fine for monkeys to manage software products.

Maybe Eliza Griswold’s Monkey poem explains this somehow:

Last week, the children ate his mother—

dashed her head against the breadfruit.

A young girl soldier laughs,

tears the baby from my leg

and hurls him toward the tree.

Corporate politics? Primitive product testing?

Senator Boxer’s Floor Speech on the Emergency Spending Bill

May 24, 2007

In March and in April I voted for emergency spending legislation that would have fully funded our troops in Iraq, but also changed their mission to a sound one. That mission would have taken our troops out of the middle of a civil war, and put them into a support role, training Iraqi soldiers and police, fighting al Qaeda, and protecting our troops.

The President will not agree to that.

As a matter of fact, the President won’t agree to any change in strategy in Iraq, and that is more than a shame for the American people; it is a tragedy.

It doesn’t seem to matter how many Americans die in Iraq, how many funerals we have here at home, or what the American people think. The President won’t budge.

This new bill on Iraq keeps the status quo. With a few frills around the outside, a few reports, a few words about benchmarks. While our troops die.

I understand why this particular legislation is before us today. It’s because this President wants to continue his one man show in Iraq. The President doesn’t respect this Congress or the American people when it comes to Iraq. He wants to brush us all off like some annoying spot on his jacket.

We have lost 3,427 American soldiers in Iraq. Of those, 731 (21%) have been from California or based in California. There are 25,549 American soldiers wounded.

And today, after several days of worrying and praying, we received the tragic news of the death of Private Joseph J. Anzack JR., 20 years old, of Torrance, California, who was abducted during a deadly ambush south of Baghdad almost two weeks ago.

One member of his platoon, Spc. Daniel Seitz, summed it up this way to the Associated Press: “It just angers me that it’s just another friend I’ve got to lose and deal with, because I’ve already lost 13 friends since I’ve been here, and I don’t know if I can take any more of this.”

And he shouldn’t have to. But with this bill, he will.

The first half of this year has already been deadlier than any six-month period since the war began more than four years ago.

In this month alone, 83 U.S. Service members have already been killed in Iraq.

Let me be clear, there are many things in this bill that I strongly support–many provisions that I actually fought for, for our troops, for our veterans, for our farmers, and for the victims of Hurricane Katrina–but I must take a stand against this Iraq war, and therefore I will vote no on this emergency spending bill.

Stasi files to be reassembled

A good deal of money and effort is being spent by German researchers to reverse the document destruction used by the East German secret police group called Stasi. Although this seems noble for the causes of computer science, history and perhaps even justice, it starts to beg the question whether this will raise the bar for those who want to safely destroy their documents. Nature reports:

Bertram Nickolay, head of security technology at the Fraunhofer Institute for Production Systems and Design Technology (IPK) in Berlin, says that the heart of the reconstruction software that his team has spent years developing is powered by algorithms designed to recognize and process digital patterns and images.

The pieces of torn documents are scanned on both sides, and the digital images are then analysed by a cluster of 16 computers for 25 features, including colour, shape, texture, handwriting and typeface, Nickolay says. Just like a person doing a jigsaw, the computer then groups the images into clusters with similar features, and finally fits pieces in each cluster together. The software should get better with time, Nickolay notes. “It learns as it processes.”

Sounds impressive. But “torn” documents? That doesn’t sound like secret police security.

“It was a mountain of files,” says Bormann. The Stasi lacked enough paper-shredding machines to do the job right, and began tearing documents by hand and stuffing them into bags.

The plan had been to transport bags bulging with documents by trucks to locations where they could be burned, but by January 1990 East German citizens had taken control of Stasi offices and the plan could not be carried out. West German authorities eventually seized still-intact Stasi documents and more than 16,000 bags of ripped documents.

Sounds like someone in Stasi under-prepared and over-engineered the document destruction process and thus left a giant gaping hole, which led to recovery of the files. Did they stuff all the related pages together into nicely labeled bags? Makes me wonder what was really going on in the final days — from incompetence to intentional internal subterfuge to facilitate reconstruction of files.

Project leader Jan Schneider says the algorithms used for the software could also be used to reconstruct documents shredded into much more uniform pieces by machines. “It wouldn’t be too complicated,” he says.

Ha. Neither is organizing and burning paper, but look where that ended.

Man Sails the Deep Awhile

by Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 – 1894)

Man sails the deep awhile;
Loud runs the roaring tide;
The seas are wild and wide;
O’er many a salt, o’er many a desert mile,
The unchained breakers ride,
The quivering stars beguile.

Hope bears the sole command;
Hope, with unshaken eyes,
Sees flaw and storm arise;
Hope, the good steersman, with unwearying hand,
Steers, under changing skies,
Unchanged toward the land.

O wind that bravely blows!
O hope that sails with all
Where stars and voices call!
O ship undaunted that forever goes
Where God, her admiral,
His battle signal shows!

What though the seas and wind
Far on the deep should whelm
Colours and sails and helm?
There, too, you touch that port that you designed –
There, in the mid-seas’ realm,
Shall you that haven find.

Some interesting commentary on Stevenson can be found on the website by RCAHMS (Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Scotland), in reference to Barra Head Lighthouse:

Barra Lighthouse

Although Robert Louis Stevenson had to fight hard to be allowed to express his literary talent instead of following in the footsteps of his grandfather, uncles and father, he appreciated their achievements. In 1880 he wrote:

‘Whenever I smell salt water, I know that I am not far from one of the works of my ancestors. The Bell Rock stands monument for my grandfather, the Skerry Vore for my Uncle Alan and when the lights come out at sundown along the shores of Scotland, I am proud to think they burn brightly for the genius of my father.’